San Damiano with Edwina Gately

Up in San Damiano for a much needed respite off a month of craziness. Up here with Edwina Gately -- poet, artist, activist. i first learnt about her through her work with inner city prostitutes.

Up here with my friend M who is going through a divorce.
Up here grateful, a little off kilter from the mixture of energies -- my friend's M's frenetic warmth which i've always adored, Edwina's British energy which is slightly triggering from my British "Professors-oppressor" days. The beauty of San Damiano always throws me. My body almost responds to it involuntarily. The air just makes it way into my lungs, without having me to do those methodical deep breathing exercises i did with a client just on Thursday.
i am "stuck" up on the hill, neither here nor there.
Knowing that i am too twitchy to be up here and too wired to go back down there.
But i am trying to enjoy a different experience.
-- the ease of a girl room-mate with masks and talks in the dark
-- having Edwina love a poem i wrote and read to the group
-- settling into M introducing me as a psychotherapist
-- noticing how hard it is for me to show up, the more visible she is.
-- my immediate connection to a more cerebral group retreat across the way
-- the beautiful mugs i got to buy for M as a gift
-- my gravitation to art and painting this weekend
-- my need to write on the computer again

Thank you Lord,

i am trying not to pick at your table
To settle into this season of gratitude and
receive wide eyed and open
every morsel as if
you have tenderly prepared for me
Thank you Lord
i am grateful
this season of harvest feels rich and undeserved
i feel thankful in my practice,
for the love and loyalty of my clients
for the joy of being held
so carefully by them
the connection,
they see me as much as i take pains
to see them

Comments

[Margot]

You write with such authenticity Tania.... I marvel at your openness and see you as providing me a door to allow myself to be so expressive someday. You are gifted with allowing people to see your passion and love at being YOURSELF! How we all express ourselves amazes me... I learned more about you at San Damiano and love you more....I am grateful you shared yr sanctuary with me.
I am changed from last weekend truly.
And tea from my special mug has been a daily connection with you!!
M.

[tania]

Lovely to see you in my special space here too. Hope this season finds you abundantly gifted and blessed. You are loved.