Feeling Loved

I just bought a Lululemon sweater. Not used, not off Ebay, not power sniped, not after having daily emails of advanced searches so i can buy one for the best price. It was on sale, but it was new.
It was the most luxurious, loving experience of feeling like after 8 months of working at Dailey Method, working up from once a week to now four times a week --i deserve it.
I do. It's a glorious shade of pink which you would not catch me wearing for a million years. i feel like it's such a sign of growth for me, that i am now willing to wear a feminine color. After decades of Art-school black, of "i'm afraid i am fat in any other color" black and grey, i am finally willing to embrace the needy, womanly side of myself. Granted it is still tie-dyed, not completely pink and is still dipped in purple from the bottom.
But i am feeling loved in it; especially since it is a special edition Stride Ride Jacket with the inscription " You are beautiful" in it.
I have been feeling beautiful. Especially since i've lost 1 dress size, 8 lbs and seem to have lost it in all the places i care about: my face, my calves and my waist.
i feel lean and i feel like my core is strengthening. i see this tiny little muscle in the between my armpit and my triceps emerge. i think it's hysterical. Who would know there would a muscle there?
It's lovely to go to class with all these Ballerina-esque types. I feel like it's the lost dance lessons i never had. Dailey Method is the perfect blend of ballet, barre exercise,  orthopedic exercises and stretching which i feel if i am going to spend the next 20 years of my life seated in a chair, i need a structured way of making sure my hamstrings don't turn cardboard on me.
Lately, it's been the one way i can concretely show myself that i care about me. On the weekends, it is the one oasis that i fight almost like war to get to amidst the weekend crazies. i drag myself out of bed and push myself to go.
This past weekend, amidst a 4 hour fund raiser, a 6 hour Bible Study/Superbowl party, a dinner party at our house and a trampoline birthday party -- i was so grateful to be go to the Sunday evening 4pm. Stepping out into the brisk evening -- i felt could i do to feel utterly loved and cared for.
The sweater, the feel in the store, the parking spot God gave me, the educational break on my Macbook air that just about covered the sweater was just perfect.
Thank you Lord.

Comments

[sining]

sweet entry...just re-discovered your blog again - looking forward to catching up with past episodes!