Thank you for speaking to me today Lord,
today i specifically left my journal at home and brought instead my large-margin Bible with new intentions to anchor myself in your word, instead of doodling things to do list. It's amazing how you honor my little steps to draw close.
You talk to me about:
Imperfect Great men
Abraham just like Adam abdicated his authority when Sarai complained to him about Haggar. He didn't tell her about God's promises then, or when she tried to take things into her own hands.
His sin was Man's signature one at the Fall, the one of omission, of saying nothing. As the women in my group sighed sympathetically, You remind me that these were still great men in the Bible. That David, the man that you called one after your own heart was a permissive parent. Adam said nothing while Eve listened to the serpent. Abraham never reiterated the conversations he had with you to Sarai strengthening his wife's faltering faith. Yet You loved them. You don't despise them. You called them great men in the Bible. As should i my husband.
The Call to Submit
Just as Haggar runs into the desert instead of staying to face a hard situation, i choose so many times to "opt out" in this marriage. i "leave" physically or emotionally instead of staying to confront. Today Your word is "stay and submit" not because what Sarai did was right, or that she was worthy, but because You have already made provision for me in this marriage as you had for Haggar. Ishmael was promised the same inheritance Isaac would have except without the land. You tell me to return and submit because it is the Divine order, because it is only way that God can bless me, because i am following a Divine pattern far bigger than i can imagine.
The Covenant's Things to Do list
God's Things to Do list
As for me ( God ), He will make Abraham very fruitful ( Genesis 17:6 ), He will establish a covenant as an everlasting covenant, He will make nations of him, He will give Canaan to him, He will give Abraham an everlasting possession.
Abraham's Things to Do list
As for you ( Abraham) He must keep his covenant, him and the generations to come.
On a day that i am usually sorely distracted with my things-to-do list while listening to the lecture, i am struck by the contrast between the two lists. God's list was long. Action oriented, results guaranteed. In the covenant to Abraham, He will "make, establish, give". His list focussed on doing.
Abraham's was short, relationship based. He was suppose to concentrate on being.
As i grapple with what i am to do with my life during this phase of mothering. i am struck by how short His list is for me. His will for me is about covenant keeping, abiding and being. And that if there were any huge accomplishments to do, it would be effortless. He would do it not me.
The I-ness of the Abrahamic Covenant
Through all the conversations about the covenant, God mentions "I" sixteen times. His promise was revealed in phases, each one never once mentioning Abraham's part until the very last. In each revelation it was God repeating " i will .... i will.... i will....". Contrast this with Sarai's incorrect speculation " ... perhaps I will build a family through her ( Haggar )".
If the promise was going to be fulfilled it would have to be unmistakably, irrevocably, undeniably God. He waited for 24 years before every scrap of Abraham's ability and ambition to give himself an heir was gone. His timing is perfect. He wants the glory.
It was just beautiful. A lovely analogy for this journey of waiting and sojourning i've been about whether or not i should go back to work. i know that i have a Promise. i know He has something in store. But i don't know what, and my mind races, and runs ahead, and i try to predict His plan. i try to come up with solutions. i end up with lots of Ishmaels instead.
So i breath a prayer of thanksgiving, for the tenderness of His guidance in the life of this frail and fallible man. One who's faulty love for Him was so irresistible that He chose to take the finite desire of Abraham's heart, his longing for an heir and blow it up to magnitudes beyond his wildest dreams.
i am moved once again that God never asked us for anything else but a relationship. That is "perfection" enough. He put Abraham to sleep and have Jesus take his place when He needed something to work the legal requirements of the covenant sacrifice.
His provision is already in store for me. He has everything i need. He is my shield and my very Great Reward.
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